what have I gotten myself into...

{Written by Alexandria}

You can call me Alex or Alexandria, I will respond to either. Like Kat, I am also not anonymous. Although, I now wish I was because I would probably be more comfortable blogging anonymously about ponies and their lack of helping one achieve orgasm.

Are you all wondering how this blog came to be? Well Ms. Carrie already mansplained it for you. Via twitter I almost killed over from laughter when she explained to Sam that she is not thinking about ponies while flicking the bean. So of course, I added my two cents and created one of my all time favorite hash tags #poniesdonotequalorgasm. Legit, right? Yep, it is.

So Kat and I have been blog pals for a bit now (I frequently puma out over her younger brother), and Carrie* is new in my life but I already think she is all kinds of honest and hilarious! She is the Carrie to my Miranda...um Kat? Which one are you? This is crucial to our blogland trio!

I am not quite as open or interesting as my two cohorts. Am I a virgin? Nope. Have I slept with more than one person? Nope. Have I been celibate for over four years? Yes I have. Am I proud of that fact? You bet your sweet booty I am. Do I read Twilight word porn? I do...and I am VERY ashamed of that (click that link you know that you want to).

What can you expect from me? I am not sure yet...but I am hoping it will be full of pure awesome. I am also looking forward to being the most reserved in a group of people...because that is something I have NEVER had happen. I do realize I may be a snoozefest...but hey I am a little shy so just love me through it y'all.

Also, if you are easily offended...don't let the door hit ya on the way out. Leave your self-righteous attitudes at home...I do know that none of us will take kindly to judgement.

xoxo

Inspiration

{written by: Carrie}

It goes a little something like this:
My name is Carrie, I am author of the blog: No Sex In Utah County. I'm a cynical bitch who desperately wants to believe in love but has had no proof to lean on. I'm an inactive member of the LDS church and living in Utah County is not the easiest place to build a testimony. I have a hard time following the "rules" to say the least.

One day my dear friend Sam and I were discussing what it's going to take for me to get to the temple. Needless to say, I need to work out about 8 of the 10 qualifications. I became curious as to if masturbation counted as breaking the law of chastity. While I have remained abstinent the past 450 days, it is somewhat physically impossible for me not to take care of those horny nights myself. I mean, what do you expect when a girl is used to having sex for 3 years then decides to stop cold turkey?

So when I read the line, "Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions" I figured, I'm screwed.

It's not like I'm exactly thinking of ponies when I pleasure myself.

and thus our story begins. 

dirty girls with dirty minds

I'm tired of being told women should be classy and ladylike and not talk about how horny they are or how AMAZING that orgasm was last night. I say it like it is, think of this as a little peak inside a woman's brain. The girls out there who tell me they never masturbate are either a) lying or b) missing out. Live your life a little ladies! Tickle your bean!

XoXo,

Carrie