Let's start with masturbation

{Written by: Francesca}

It's as good a place as any.

You might expect us dirty-minded sex-obsessed bloggers to say Everybody Does It, and if you say you don't we know You're Lying. However, I am evidence of the contrary.

When I was younger, I was a complete dud at masturbation. Frankly, I didn't even try, because it required a degree of coordination I did not possess. Get worked up and bothered? Yes. Once I tried to continue past that point, it was simply an exercise in frustration. So why get bothered?

As a sexually active adult, I learned to reach down and help things out if I sensed my partner wasn't going to last long enough; a little manual stimulation and I could prevent frustration most of the time.

[Shit. I'm talking like an intellectual instead of
a dirty girl who wants to grab Tila every time she sees that picture...
Let me try that last paragraph again.]

So, once I started having regular sex (woohoo!), I found that sometimes the guy was a little too quick to finish. So I reached down and FLICKED IT! before he ran out of juice (which REALLY can be taken multiple ways), and usually got off before it was too late. But that's as far as it ever went.

Until the OM entered the picture. Oh, my God, I drool over him. He's hot, hard, ready to go, thinks I'm sexy, and will talk dirty to me any time I ask.

[Unless he's home with the wife and kids. ]

He can go all night, and if I ever get REAL sex with him again, neither of us will walk properly for a week. Will you pray to the Goddess with me that this happens SOON?

Ahem. Let me try not to get my desk chair TOO sloppy this early in the day.

So this is how it all happened: Once upon a time, I met this guy. He was H-O-T hot. Just about perfect for me. We spent the summer thinking about it and TWO DAYS in hot sex - on the floor, on the ceiling, continuous, fabulous, shaking-just-remembering-it sex.

But the timing was wrong. We went our separate ways geographically after the summer. We talked on the phone a lot, but surprisingly, not about sex; we became better friends. I met DH. Time passed. We talked less. He had some really wild times with many women, and eventually got married. And we each have 3 kids.

Almost 20 years passed. About 6 months ago I sent him a friend request on facebook.

[Please, no anti-facebook comments. Facebook facilitates
the immoral activities of many; it is NOT the CAUSE!]

And we talked, and caught up.

And one day, in the chat box, we talked about memories. And what-if's. And went farther than we probably should, but who can regret? We talked about what we WOULD do now, and I had the best orgasm I'd had in years.

In a chat box. Yes, like IM. Not even with voice involved. In a CHAT BOX.

[There was considerable hands-on action, too.]

I never knew that "masturbation" had a different flavor orgasm from intercourse and real-sex orgasms. But even THAT is getting me hot and bothered.

[And you wondered why it took me so long to write this post.]

Where did we go from there? Well, we're farther apart than ever geographically. We have had Chat-Box sex. Then we started phone sex. Oh, my God, I can climax just thinking about his voice. And what he says to me. How he's going to fuck me harder than I've ever been... In the right situation, it's amazing.

The dumb-ass hubs is INCAPABLE of talking dirty. I've asked him to, he can't. He can't have sex if he's talking at all. I pretty much never stop talking. I've done without for years, and it's so much better, if that's what you want, to GET WHAT YOU WANT.

This post is long enough. I'll get more detailed next time in what phone sex is and is not, and how it works for me. That's what we ponies do - TMI is the rule here!

So. Neither of us is happy in our marriage. Both of us are reluctant to leave because we have 6 children whose lives would be uprooted. Not ruined, but not easy. Neither of us is willing to hurt the ones we love most (our kids), or to be away from them for any length of time.

He's my fucking soul mate, and I can't have him.

ps: This post both made me extremely horny AND made me cry. I hope it fulfills the promises I've made! Because I don't think I can write it again.

Orgasms, Please!

{Written by: Francesca}

Let me agree with Kat:

Dear 10 Followers,
So SORRY for neglecting you.
We do love you!
We are busy and have lives

but it doesn't mean we love you less!

Personally, I have to sneak around the children
(Goddess forbid they should see the name of this blog!)
and they were home sick for a while.

(plus: Francesca got LAID!
So I didn't have to write about it QUITE as much
as I had recently GOTTEN SOME.)
((Very sad when it's rare enough it merits this degree of excitement mentioning it!))
(((Married folks REALLY should get lucky more often than this.)))

Ahem.

On to Christina's question: "What I'm curious to know (since everyone is so very open and honest here!) is: How many of you girls have multiple orgasms, how many can orgasm from oral, and how many can not orgasm from having intercourse. Those are some topics I'd like to hear about!"

This is a topic I certainly feel qualified to address. *blush* Oh wait, I'm shameless. How do you redline the blush? Nevermind.

Multiple orgasms? I can but haven't in a long time. (The whole aftershock thing? even just remembering it is DELICIOUS.)
Orgasm from oral? Almost always.
Orgasm from intercourse? Frequently (and most always with the right partner).

The DAH (dumb-ass husband) really, REALLY enjoys giving oral sex. I used to consider this a plus. Lately, it's depressing when he performs it for HIS pleasure rather than mine. He ends up paying NO attention to whether I'm enjoying myself and ultimately spurts on the sheets. Not satisfying at all!

I love oral sex. I don't enjoy giving it much, as I can't breathe well. But for the OM, I totally would. and did. and Goddess willing, I will again.

HOWEVER. I am very penetration-oriented. Meaning whether I'm orgasmic before or after or during or all of the above, I do not get the same satisfaction without SOME "intercourse." Fuck me left, right, and sideways, and I WILL have a good time (and so will you). But I somehow feel cheated if all you're interested in is going down on me. It just doesn't feel like you care about ME at all, KWIM? If all you can see is pussy, does it really matter who it's attached to?

My thoughts aren't organized enough to really address this properly today. Rest assured, I WILL tell all about the OM and phone sex. When the DAH is so disinterested that I'm having better PHONE sex than REAL sex, it's not a good sign. At least I'm HAVING phone sex, LOL!

Blogger doesn't want to perform properly either today, sigh. I promise to collect my thoughts and titillate you better soon!