Valentine's Day

{written by: Carrie}

Since I'm the only one blogging anymore... guess I'll bitch and moan about how much I hate Valentine's day. I mean really, did we have to make a holiday out of it? Aren't anniversary's, Christmas, birthdays, weddings, babies, enough to remind those lucky couples out there how much they love each other? 

Yes, I'm bitter. And jealous, and skeptical, and extremely moody and emotional lately. I'm blaming it on the time of the month. All Valentine's day does is remind me of all my failed attempts at relationships. It's been 7 months since Conner and I were dating and I still wish every day that it hadn't ended. I don't think I've held on to someone in my heart this long, ever. It's killing me because I know it will never be... but what can I do? The memories are there. He's there.. everywhere and everything brings up the good times we had. 

Is there some kind of magnetic energy that let men know when a girl is vulnerable, on the verge of a meltdown? I swear every time I'm having one of those nights Conner will randomly call me. He called the other night, just wanted to know how things are going in Colorado. I can't deny the sound of his voice makes me want to cry. I'm pathetic, and I'm aware of it. I wish I could get him out of my head. I just don't know if I'll ever find someone as perfectly compatible as he is to me. 

*sigh* I wish "moving on" was easier done than said. But it doesn't help when he says to me, "Hey I just ran across some pics from our trip to NY and remembered what good times we had." [falls over as the knife stabs her in the heart] The worst part is I don't think he'll ever know how I feel. 

So here I am..the only girl in the house without a date tonight. At least I have my puppy. He's not very cuddly lately though. :( That's practically the only reason I bought him. 

Guess I'll get B.O.B (the battery operated boy) out tonight and pass out. Happy Valentine's Day to me.