I should be packing..

{written by: Carrie}

But I'm going to talk about masturbation instead. Why is it I'm always the most horny when on my cycle? I mean, it's like God is sitting there laughing at the torture he's causing me. I know some girls do it in the shower and what not, but that just disgusts me. I'm NOT comfortable with my period, I think that is just gross if you are. I have never and will never have sex on my period no matter how horny I am. Ugh [gag]

Anyway, only a few days left. I need medical marijuana just for my horrid cramps, think I can use that as an excuse? Maybe if I just go into detail about my period and menstruation flow the doctor will get so uncomfortable he'll just give me a prescription. Or I'll show a nipple, just one though. Showing two makes me a tramp. (Ask Charlotte, she knows) Anyone remember the episode with the sailors and Charlotte shows a nipple? haha I should watch that.

All I can say is I am anticipating a much needed date with the Quivler Tickler sometime this week. I couldn't masturbate when I was in Colorado because I forgot him, and was sleeping in the same bed as Jessica most nights (not that that would've stopped me). Haha I joke.

Guess I should get back to packing. My mom's eyes popped out of her head as she saw me pull into the driveway with a car full of liquor boxes. I said with a straight face, "I've been saving up for the move." She never knows whether to laugh or cry when it comes to me. She also saw my "Bar Careers- your manual inside! Thank you for joining us!" packet that came in the mail when I was gone. Oh mother, just love me, there's no hope for my soul.