The Rastafarian Bartender

{written by: Carrie}

My first night in Denver, remember this night for it shall be epic as the beginning of a new adventure in the life of Carrie and Jurassica.

We didn't know what clubs were hoppin' and made the mistake of going to the only one we'd heard of: The Church. I can't even begin to explain how ironic this felt to me. I grew up this goody goody momo girl in Utah County, being forced to go to church and conform to the cult, and here I am 10 years later going to a club in Denver, high and drunk called, THE CHURCH.

makes me [giggle].

So, we get to church [which is actually an old cathedral with pictures of Jesus and shit and everything] which is an awesome setup but we soon realized the people were not much to be desired of. There are fat chicks in fish net tops and tutus, tranny's, eskimos, and really ugly men. It seemed like everyone was on drugs the way they stood there and stared at the DJ. I looked around and wanted to scream, breaking them out of their transe, "WHY IS NOBODY DANCING!?"

What's even better were the gothic's in the basement and the creepy Mexicans in the Hip-Hop room. We soon discovered the DJ's were better looking than the guys at the club. We found this VIP section with less creepers and an EXTREMELY sex dripping, beautiful, mouth watering, orgasmic Rastafarian Bartender. I mean, he was HOT! By this point neither of us could dance and hold our drinks so we stayed at the bar and enjoyed our deluctically made Mau-Tau's.

We stood there dreaming of ways to get him naked and in our bed, drooling over the bar. At one point I actually tried getting one leg over the bar so I could hop over there and do him right there on the floor. OK so maybe not, but that doesn't mean I didn't dream about it.

I believe at one point I leaned over the counter, told him how extremely sexy he is and that I would like to make his babies. I mean, by now I was so wet it was dripping down my leg. He did us the great favor of telling the creepy men at the bar that we were new from Utah and needed friends. Ironically enough their names were the same names of both of Jessica's ex's. The short midget who smelled of beef and cheese told me he loved how my "hair framed my neck." He couldn't stop talking about how "unique" my hair cut is, I guess that's what you get with a girl from Utah. haha.

Next thing you know, I see Jessica scream and run off. She waved for me to come over and help her get her bra back on! haha the creepy Midget unsnapped her bra with one snap, ugh what a pervert. We met a black girl named Celeste or something and she got my number.

Best part of the night was when Brian (the mouth watering Rasta waiter) handed us his card with his cell phone number.

The night ended as I text'd him, "Brian you are a very beautiful man, I am in love with you. XoXo -Carrie."