Losing One's Virginity: Technicalities

{Written by BittenUsagi}

Anyone who has ever had the "who did you lose your virginity to" conversation with me knows that I immediately launch into a "what do you consider losing your virginity" rant of sorts. Like I can go on for hours about it (it's really quite pathetic).

This is probably because of who I wish was my first time was with.

So then my question was which do I write about?

I was going to write about my first three as those are the ones that the arguments are about but instead I'm going to write about the one most worth hearing imo. Yeah I'm terrible at directions girls... I prolly should have warned you about that, lol. ;)

*deep breaths*
Okay so this is what I had always imagined my first time would be like. Well with the exception of the setting but hey, when you're both living with parents the locales are limited. He was my first love. I had loved him since we dated the first time and never really got over him to be truthful.

It was beautifully awkward the first time and I saw a side of him that I hadn't before and it will be how I always remember him. There were many (many) times after this but the look in his eyes that very first time was just.... Ahhh. Ummm... excuse me...

*walks off and cools off for a few minutes*

It hurt like hell but it was so beautiful. He was so caring about if I was comfortable or if he was hurting me and if I wanted him to stop or go slower. We were having sex making love on a weight lifting bench in his garage, which he laid a towel down on just for me, but at the time it could have been on the dirty concrete for all I cared. It was amazing even though it hurt like all get out. He was beautiful. We were beautiful together.

Seriously if you've watched Cruel Intentions when Reese and Ryan's charies have sex for the first time that is what it was like. I shit you not. Oh and if you haven't watched it, shame on you. Go watch it. ^w~

Oh and said boy? Looked eerily like Joshua Jackson when we were in high school (still does a lil).

I wished this would have been my first time because I was truly in love and while I don't have a problem with sex outside of marriage I believe that it should be with someone you love. If only for that first time.

Then again had this been my very first time it probably would have made the next few extremely disappointing. Like depressingly disappointing.

Guess I wouldn't change which was first now that I think about it. Even as emotionally painful the first ended up, how absolutely terrible the second was and how amazing this was.

Lessons Taught:
Blog-1, Me-0

EDIT:
Okay so after careful thought and consideration I decided it wasn't fair of me to pick and choose my story for this blog. It's not fair for my fellow contributors, our readers or myself.

Make that Blog-2, Me-0

Ummm when did this become something that's not only fun and talking about sex all the time to me actually learning lessons? >.< ;)

So my very first time a girlfriend and I headed off into uncharted waters together, cause that's what girls do right? Yeah I didn't realize until later that being sexually attracted to girls wasn't something all girls did. The sex wasn't really that memorable other than it being my first time. I don't remember ever having a moment where I was like "OMG that's an orgasm? I want MORE!!". Don't get me wrong it was good, at least enough for us to both keep coming back for more anyway, but it was more exploration and realizing that there are some great pleasures to be had in life.

As for the not knowing at the time that it wasn't what all girls did and that it was something you could be persecuted/made fun of for, I quickly realized this a few months later. Apparently my dear best friend/lover told someone and it spread like wildfire throughout our classes. The jokes were terrible and even just thinking about them now makes my heart ache. I couldn't understand how something that felt so right could be considered "wrong". (oops started to step off on a rant that involved politics but I'll leave that out here, maybe sometime on my own blog.) The teasing hurt a lot and still hurts to this day, which is probably why even now I tend to just allude to it. Hey, I figure my friends are smart and can figure it out. Probably the wrong thing to do but I have my reasons, as pathetic as they may be.

Wow this turned out depressing didn't it??

Well to lighten the mood here is a clip of from Cruel Intentions (recorded just to post here as I couldn't find it online ANYWHERE) which I think is freaking hilarious. Sorry for crappy quality as I just recorded it from the tv like the lazy bum I am.

Feel free to now do the secret society dance. ^w~